The beginning of my story abroad Pt.1

I was born in Guatemala in the late 80's, around ten years before the civil war ended. Guatemala is my motherland, it is where I lived most of my childhood and adolescence years. Where my consciousness started developing. My family formed my mind and my way of living. My family took care of me, supported me and encouraged me to think for myself. They taught me to work hard and be ambitious.

When I was around sixteen years old I was frustrated and unsatisfied with my life for various reasons. I grew up in a traditional conservative-catholic household, my mother, a single mom, always encouraged me to follow my gut and do what feels right regardless of what it is.

What I wanted to do was to play music and being able to pay for my education. I wanted to study music and sound waves and be a professional musician and producer for metal music bands at the global scale. I felt I was born in the wrong country for it.

I was angry and constantly depressed about the social, economical and cultural limitations of my country and my social status. I constantly said to myself - “Why I cannot do what I want to do? There has to be a way! life cannot be this way”. I became very quiet, introverted and barely had any friends (much less a girlfriend) which made me frustrated and angry. I found shelter in music as a form of art. It was the most enjoyable and beautiful way for me to express those feelings.

The fact was that, in 2004 and with my social status and economical situation, I saw no way for me to achieve that in Guatemala. Back then I had a metal band as a hobby with a few of my friends from the neighbourhood, I was studying engineering at the national university and music at the national conservatory. I was working part time as a mechanic, with a salary of EUR110 a month enough to pay for school expenses and tuition fees. My mom supported me along the way.

At that point, I felt it was a crucial time for me to choose. On one side there was what I really wanted to do and on the other side there was the stuff that people told me to do, what was “normal”, what everyone else was going to do. I was so frustrated when I realized that there was no choice really. If I stayed in Guatemala, I had to finish school and get a job... live a "normal life". Make enough money so I can provide a better quality of life for myself and my kids in the future. Give my kids a choice, the choice I didn’t have. That is all I knew.

Skunk was the name of the band. We had decent quality music and a unique sound for what was available in Guatemala at the time. “We just need the right people to listen to us and we could get a deal with a label for a real studio album” - I dreamed.

I gathered the band one day after practice and told them that I wanted to leave Guatemala and try to make a start in another country with music as my main focus. "Maybe in another country there is more support and less judgement for our style of music and we can be musicians and pay our bills" - I told them. We were so naive.

The vocalist of the band had a contact in Finland so he got in touch and told him about our idea. He was kind enough to offer us a couch for a couple of weeks... he said: “in Finland there are equal opportunities for everyone, there are no poor people and everyone is equal here, there are no tuition fees and metal music is very popular". I knew Nightwish and Children of Bodom were Finnish metal bands I liked, I knew Linux and Nokia were Finnish brands. “The music industry in Finland should be large enough so people can actually make a living off it” - I thought. Knowing nothing about Finland or Finnish culture and lifestyle, my initial thought was that I wouldn’t go to Finland. “If the whole band would make the choice of going there, I will have to leave the band and go to USA or Canada” I thought.

Our contact in Finland kept saying good things about the country, “everyone knows english here” - he said. I imagined Finland was like the USA but better, I thought I could play music on the streets and make money that way or get a job doing anything to pay for my food and shelter. “If so many latinos make it in the states, I can make it in Finland, I’ll struggle but it is not impossible!” - I thought. I was naive.

I didn't have access to information about life in Finland. There were no Finnish language lessons available in Guatemala, I didn't have a computer with access to internet. I knew how to write and read in English, which I learned on my own from grammar books, movies and metal songs. I was sure that I wanted to leave and follow my dream. I was 18...

After thinking about Finland as an option I thought what that choice meant. I understood it meant living my life in Guatemala behind and go to an unknown environment. I said to myself - “You don’t have anything to lose. If your life doesn't turn out exactly how you imagined it, at least you will be satisfied you have tried”.

I figured it is worth the risk if I could have a chance to a better quality of life than living frustrated, working in a job i didn’t like, studying to then get another job in a multinational company that doesn’t pay you what you deserve and does not even take care of you health insurance. I thought about my family and what I was giving up. “I better do it now that I am young” - was constantly in my mind.

In late 2006 I was driving back home from the university. My mother’s car, a 1989, white Subaru, automatic transmission, efficiency of 25 miles per gallon of fuel. Each gallon was less money I could save for my trip to Finland… I was listening to the only radio in Guatemala that would play our music. Radio was the more popular medium for putting our music out to the public. They announced that the radio was going to be closed and turned into a reggaeton and pop music radio… that was it! I was then determined to leave no matter what!

On February 2007, me and the band gathered in the airport. Each of us had a ticket to Finland. I was happy, nervous, excited! None of us had left the country before, and we had no idea what to expect. Only two of us spoke decent english and none of us spoke a word of finnish. As we boarded the plane, I had a very weird feeling of calmness and excitement at the same time, I was sure what I was doing was right, I knew I was going to make it... I was sure I wouldn’t return empty handed.

All I had with me was a credit card with a limit of USD400 that I managed to hustle because a friend of the family worked at the credit card company, EUR500 in cash that friends and family put together as a gift, some “winter” clothes, my electric guitar, my music gear, an open mind and a really positive attitude.

We arrived at Helsinki/Vantaa International Airport in Finland on February 13th 2007, I was 20. Today is February 5th 2015. I am still in Helsinki. I am 28. I am working legally and have never really got any support from Kela nor opintotukki. I find satisfaction in working hard and achieving goals no matter how silly they may sound. I recently moved to a new apartment and live alone for the first time. I am living a “normal” life.