The truth behind Narrow Minds & Me me me by Lizard

Narrow minds
Me, me, me

My master has to participate in a yoga convention and thus hid his blog. Obviously it had way too powerful messages and people were way too narrow-minded to understand the purity of his words. Well, I'm sure his karma will get better after his yoga convention.

So I am a lizard and currently unemployed (of course, I like to think of myself as a very important... creature who serves The Great Yoga Master) so I spend my time rubbing kebab on me and licking my cum off the napkins. Cum-licking was actually an accident at first but I liked the taste so much it's all I do now. Actually it's the very reason I'm unemployed now: I had to quit my job as a matchbox filler and the combustibility testing person at the imaginary factory to have more kebab-rub-on and cum-lick time.

I also love to write about others in a way that dimishes them because it makes me feel powerful and meaningful. I love to use lots of ;) (smiley face winking) when I write in my blog because in reality I'm incapable of smiling. I have had a sour lemon face for so many years I have actually forgotten how to express anything else but dissatisfaction, anger, hatred and envy.

Sometimes (but not always) when I write shitty crap lies about others I slip in some stuff about myself, eg. hating mother subject or wanting to be beautiful and having a pretty cookie (not talking about pastry, if you know what I mean, tee heeh hee). I hate mine (mother, that is, not cookie, but actually cookie too, I hate them both because they look so alike) and her fucked-up cat so I suggest other people hate their mother too. I have also always dreamed about being a beautiful-faced prostitute with a super fine (I love the word) body who wears no clothing at all and has a lot of sex with guys who pay her so I write about that as if it's somebody else's dream or even somebody else's reality.

I think I'm quite smart doing things like that. My doctors disagree but they are stupid anyway. What have they studied, just some stupid chemistry and math and cut up some dead bodies while I have actually cut someone who was still alive, tee hee hee AND I have learned the most important lesson life had to offer me: "Obey Thy Yoga Master". (Not Thigh Master, though I have one too but cannot use it because I am a lizard.) I worship him. He's my God. Actually, he is The God even to the god all those stupid non-yoging suckers believe in. Maybe someday I'll start takins yoga class too. But not now because I still have to dis that D girl.

Now I have read D-girl's blogs but haven't really found anything I could shit about so I guess I once again have just to use my creative imagination. Let's see, public sex - boring, black men with huge cocks - old story... shit. This blank page is obviously mocking me because I'm suffering from writer's block. And now the blank page is laughing at me, out loud!!! It has to be so because I know it can't be the voices in my head, they've been gone for almost a week now!

Maybe I could try suggesting she loves being paid for sex? That's kind of lame but I will try that anyway. For some reasons people have started wondering if my stories are real. I'm sure this D whore has told all her friends (as if she had some, she probably just paid some people, that's it, yeah) to shit and dis me. It can't be because of my writings because they're superior, especially compared to her pathetic unrealistic blogs about having a real life and even going OUT - I mean, I haven't been out my place in a while and I still have a great life because kebab can be ordered in, as well as napkins.

Crap! What is my mother's cat doing here? Did the dragon drag him along?! God I hate those animals, they are probably planning to kill me. Look, there they are, sipping tee as if they were on a date, but I know they're just trying to fool me. Well you won't!!! I'm on to you!!!

Pills. Gotta find the pills. Oh shit, I never got any from the drug store. Speaking of drugs, maybe I should start taking them again. My old friend could get me some. If only I knew how to reach him. Oh, I shall try The Yoga Master's way and send my friend a telepathic message. "Give... me... some... drugs..." That will do it, he'll be here soon with my doze, I'm sure.

Back to the D bitch, the lying mother of all the prostitute-dressing whores who love sex and getting paid for it, especially in public places. Now wait, that was MY ultimate dream! Shit. I'm messed up. I better go and try some yoga now.

o.O

I can't do yoga. I'm a freaking lizard!!! What to do?

Ooh I know, I'll post some dissing lyrics about that whore queen! Check my next blog, it's coming up next!